Motherhood – a state of being which often means that however sorted and competent you’re feeling – like me here, all dressed up at a wedding in Mallorca last summer – you’re never far from a nose being scrunched in judgment of you: whether that judgement is from your small person calling you a poo poo head, from the raised eyebrows of another mum at stay and play…or your own internal critic.
My book The Supermum Myth comes out in September. Written with the psychologist Dr Rachel Andrew, it’s a book which offers you the tools to overturn your negative internal critic and help you build a coat of resilience to help you navigate the mum terrain of perceived judgment at every turn.
Parenting is an emotive world, negotiating new challenges usually through a heavy veil of sleep-deprivation and heightened anxiety. We’ve all had that feeling of “not being good enough”, not measuring up to others’, or our own, expectations of how we should be doing – where parenting is concerned this is a dangerous trap to fall into, and doesn’t help you or your children.
Imagine being able to put a stop to that nagging internal voice that tells you you’re failing to keep up with those perfect mums on Instagram. What if you were able to dwell on the good stuff rather than the bad? To have confidence in your decisions and trust your gut, and let go of your skewed vision of ‘perfect parenting’? The key may be to acknowledge that it’s ok to have these negative feelings sometimes, and find a way to navigate through them to find a more positive, healthier outlook.
The Supermum Myth is a book for those seeking to find that shift in perception: to turn around your negative mindset, to view your own achievements in a different light, to be kinder to yourself. It presents activities from CBT and other established therapies to help you to rebuild your confidence in your own parenting style and drown out the niggling competitive doubts. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can get on with the business of being the brilliant parent you are. Embracing the imperfect, being good enough. It’s not about lowering your expectations of yourself, it’s about accepting and acknowledging how well you’re doing.
With easy-to-follow multi-therapy activities that walk readers through exactly how to unpick their bad thinking habits and a blend of other psychological strategies, giving in-the-moment solutions to common parenting flashpoints, as well as enabling readers to create robust, positive and flexible ways to approach parenting decisions in the future.
Let’s change the definition of what a Supermum is, let go of perfect and allow ourselves a more joyful mothering experience.