You know those days with a small (or even slightly large) baby when you just think, actually it’s so much of a palaver getting out of the house, managing last minute poo explosions, potential scream-fests (yours or baby’s??), forgotten dummies, lost packets of wipes…some days it just all seems too much and so you opt to stay in, and feel safe inside your home. I really remember that safety net feeling: hunker down, settle in, making sure there are fewer things that “could go wrong” and less likelihood of you shedding tears in public.
But wow I wish that there had been events like the one Emma from We Got This (sometimes) arranged for mums (and dads!), to inspire and entertain parents who otherwise might succumb to feeling lonely and wondering where their former life has gone. However much joy and awe having babies brings, it also brings a lot of mess, poo, chaos and challenge, and sometimes you need to get together with other people going through the same mayhem, to lessen the heaviness of it all.
The event last week was so wonderful, there were babes in arms, there were rampaging toddlers. I spoke with Emma about The Supermum Myth, how the book came about, what my view of “supermum” even is. We spoke about postnatal depletion, about anxiety and anger…all of the slightly unwelcome and more taboo aspects of motherhood that are only just seeing some light with social media welcoming people being open and honest about these feelings and NORMAL sensations of the visceral early days of motherhood being in the mix.
It was so wonderful to meet some mums and get to chat, share experiences – and most importantly share laugher about these experiences, as I’ve said before, laughter is almost the most effective therapy there can be about motherhood mayhem…there are a lot of women out there carrying around their stories of birth trauma and feeling like fish out of water. What a humbling experience it is to be able to help lighten that load and allow them to feel better about the things we normally carry around like a sack full of rocks without even realising it. If we can shake off this heaviness even just occasionally, it makes us more present and more resilient to be there with our little ones…less likely to lose our sh*t at the slightest thing tipping us totally off the boat and into choppy waters. And that really is the bottom line isn’t it.
Thank you Emma for organising this fun yet really healing event, which included pampering sessions with hair braiding and hand massages, plus the chance for a maternal health check up with a women’s health physio, which those of you who follow this blog regularly will know how much importance I place on that as an essential element of postnatal recovery. What a fantastic event – and thank you to the fabulous Emily Gary Photography for capturing the day so beautifully and truthfully.